Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My Internal Struggle


FUNK...

Definition:
1. A state of depression: "I sat absorbed in my own blue funk".
2. To become frightened and shrink back 

I wouldn't say I'm sad or depressed. I would also not consider myself to be frightened or shrinking back. I would, however, classify my current state of being as a FUNK. I sit here and ask myself, "Robby... how on Earth are you in a FUNK!?" I'm currently working at the best Outdoor Outfitter in Cincinnati, Roads Rivers and Trails, and I'm in my last semester at NKU! I'm about to graduate and enter into the real world! I have no time for a FUNK. I'm also involved in multiple jobs and opportunities that will make a difference to not only my future but the future of those I love around me. 

When entering into 2013, I told myself that, "This is the year." This is the year... 4 simple words of one of the biggest years of my life, and all I need to do is put my head down and focus. The only problem is that I can't... As I said earlier, I'm definitely not in a state of depression. I'm actually very happy and content, which is the problem... I'm content. I don't want to be content I want to be EXCITED! I want to be motivated and I want to be progressing on not only a personal level but on a professional level. Everything in my life is at a standstill and is content. 

As I look at the possible reasons for my FUNK I can only mark it back to three things:
  1. Not Getting Outside (Enough)
  2. Not Having the Ability to Say No
  3. Taking On More Than I Can Chew 
Not having the ability to say no, and taking on more than I can chew can definitely be put together, and I think they are the biggest causes of my FUNK. (By the end of this blog I will hate the word FUNK) The other day I greeted someone at work by saying, "Hi, how are you doing today?" Their response was, "Same shit, different day." That was by far the worst response that I could ever imagine for the question that I asked. NEVER in your life should you say, "Same shit, different day." If this is the case in your life, which it currently is with mine, then you need to take a step back and reevaluate how you're living.

I HATE that that response can be used to describe my life. I need excitement! I need energy! I need passion! Content is not how I live my life and will not continue to be how I live my life for 2013. This is the year... this is the year that I start a new chapter in my life, and I take everything that life has been preparing me for since preschool and put it into action. I want to craft a new response to my life, "New shit, every day." 

I don't know where I'll find my excitement... whether it's in mother nature, in work, in family/friends, or in the closing to my academic career. All I know is that I'm ready and eager to be excited. FUNK is a word I hate and a state of being that I will not go back to. FUNK can no longer be used to describe me.